… So Long as I Have Breath

By focusing each day on my blessings, I find joy in life.

GOOGLE ... That is where I checked to see if a large, hard mass in my breast with a lot of pain could be cancerous. "NO," said GOOGLE. "There is no pain with breast cancer." And so I waited to address my finding with my PC. When we did meet, she told me to not use Google as my primary resource and sent me off for a mammogram and an ultrasound in the same day. Both showed signs of malignancy, so off for a biopsy I went. The cancer diagnosis was confirmed. I met with my surgical team soon after and started a 6-month plan of taking a daily aromatase inhibitor. Though it had some effect, it was still apparent that a mastectomy was necessary. During the surgery a second tumor that lay beneath the previously identified tumor was found and removed. Unfortunately, the cancer had spread to a few lymph nodes, but by the time the surgery was completed all margins were negative. I chose to have breast implants that would be implanted at a much later date, however tissue expanders were placed just below my skin during the surgery.

I spent one night at the hospital and saw my two surgeons early in the morning. Later the same afternoon, a CNA came to my room and told me I was discharged. I told her I had a serious concern and needed to see a nurse. She continued to tell me I had been checked out and could and would not have a nurse come to my room. I showed her that one of my flaps (skin over the removed breast) had died and was dark purple and black. I explained to her with the minimal yet valuable medical knowledge I had that I would be readmitted as I clearly had a necrotic flap/tissue. She stuck to her instructions and we went home. Within 24 hours, I developed a high fever and was sent back to the hospital to clear out the infection that was spreading in the area. The infection developed into a wound and I spent 3-6 hours 5 days a week at a hyperbaric oxygen treatment center over the next month. I was sent back to the hospital to have the tissue expander removed as the wound went deeper. I spent 8 weeks after the mastectomy between hyperbaric oxygen chamber treatments and out-patient surgeries in the hospital. At the 2-month mark, my oncologist pushed strongly for radiation as is the protocol if the cancer had reached the lymph nodes prior to surgery. We stopped the HBO treatments and I had 35 radiation treatments with little side effect until the last week which left me with some significant burning. I continued the wound care for another four months and am delighted to say they were able to replace the tissue expander, and 6 months later, the implants were secured.

When all was done, it was suggested by my oncologist that I have 10 years of continued daily oral aromatase inhibitor. At this time, I was on Ibrance and had only one side effect which seamed to grow worse as time went on. I have always loved competitive sports and thought of myself as able to brush off a few bumps and bruises. Ibrance is known for causing bone and joint pain. I kept trying to be tough and withstand the discomfort. A year after the mastectomy I reached out to my oncologist to say I needed to stop taking the Ibrance as the bone and joint pain was just too much. I was trying to work full time, but the pain was beating me down. My doctor told me to stop the medicine immediately and come see her to make a new plan. I arrived at my doctors office 6 weeks after stopping the medicine. My fist question to her was, "when will the effects wear off?" She said there was no Ibrance left in my system. She asked were my pain was and immediately had her medical assistant walk me over to the hospital emergency department. After six plus hours and a CT scan, lab work etc. It became clear the breast cancer had metastasized to my bones (spine) and lungs.

Since the metastatic diagnosis I have been receiving treatment for over a year, which includes IV infusions. Metastatic cancer is not curable, but it is treatable. My biggest obstacle is nausea. I am delighted when I feel I have energy and I can eat well. I have a fantastic Palliative Care

Team working with me to improve my quality of life. I have been able to take a few bucket list trips like to Napa with my gracious daughter who arranged every detail for us. What a wonderful trip full of love and laughter. I have spent as much time as possible with my 3 little grandsons and look forward to early next year with the arrival of our first granddaughter.

Treatments and side effects are not easy, but they are manageable, especially with good, open communication with all involved with my care. This includes not only the doctors but also my close friends and family. I have a deep faith and trust that the Lord is with me at all times. I am not much of a journalist, but I have been keeping a Gratitude Journal. By focusing each day on my blessings, I find joy in life. It is my desire to spread that joy to others as best I can — so as long as I have breath, I will continue to spread God’s faithful love for us and the joy I experience.