Turned Upside Down
This story begins in 2019. It was then that I was opening my second yoga studio while operating our Wellness Center and yoga school under the name Epidavros. It would be the largest hot yoga studio in the greater Portland area. 2020 began with a bang, and I was seeing the results that I had expected and hoped for. I worked hard to put together a plan to franchise my yoga centers by the end of the year. However, on March 16th of 2020 government mandates required that I shut my businesses down for the first of what would become many times. 2020 held the greatest amount of stress, fear, and anger that I've ever felt in my life (up to that point). I watched helplessly, as the businesses that I had created crumbled in spite of my creativity and determination to overcome. All of my hopes and dreams were slipping between my fingers and I no longer knew what my future was. Out of a deep need to come up with rent, I created a women’s boutique that year. I worked harder than ever for no pay running three businesses and went from a staff of 35 to about 5.
And then my life took a big turn when in January of 2021 I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer. I thought my world was caving in on me, but did my best to let go and trust that God would see me through to the other side. I felt an intense determination to live for my four grown children and husband. I turned the operation of my three businesses over to my daughters, Faith, and Grace while I went to war with cancer. And then in April, my world went very dark when my husband and best friend was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer. This wouldn't be something that could simply be removed. I was consumed by more fear and depression than I had ever known in my life. I was losing my three business and the thought of losing my husband and living the rest of my life without him was absolutely unbearable. (If you’re ever given a choice between having cancer, or your best friend and spouse having cancer, choose yourself; it’s way easier.)
It was at this point that a woman named Deb Hart reached out to me and invited me to go on a day retreat on the Columbia River with Pink Sistas. I showed up consumed by fear and darkness and I left different. It was at this day retreat that I was able to connect with other women facing cancer. It was at that day retreat that I was given space to share my story in a very protected and understood way. There was no pity, and there was no judgement. There was presence and love and we had fun. I felt like it was the first time I had had fun in a year and a half. As I walked to my car at the end of that day, I saw a glimmer of hope return. I was able to clutch that little glimmer of hope and feed it. It was making connections with other women facing breast cancer that helped pull me out of the deep pit of despair, but I am sure the river and the sun and the party boat didn’t hurt a bit either.
I'm not unique in how I found life changing support at a crucial time through Pink Sistas. In 2022, Pink Sistas supported 110 women through their no-cost day retreats. In October of 2022, Pink Sistas celebrated its 10 year anniversary with 32 women in Maui through a very low cost week long retreat. Last year, Pink Sistas published its third book full of stories of women’s journeys and I am honored to share my story there.