One More Seat for Tea

In the midst of life
Death knocked early and I set
One more seat for tea

It was a shock, but not really a surprise the day I received my cancer diagnosis. On that day I thought that I thought of all of the people in my life that I knew who had been touched by cancer, everyone I knew who had struggled with this terrible foe. I was so very wrong. Instead, I was joining a much larger and more real population of cancer patients and survivors than statistics can depict. In reality there are so many of my family, friends and neighbors in this club, and so many that haven't, or will not, beat the odds that it is truly staggering. That true number is an overwhelming and utterly heartbreaking one that equates to 1 in every 2 humans. In reality half of everyone you know, and probably you yourself, will someday be diagnosed with this deadly disease. I've met seniors and expectant mothers in the chemo room, veterans and children, prisoners who wore cuffs through their entire 8 hours of treatment and the homeless who went back to their tents by the river and cardboard boxes downtown to suffer, alone, in the cold. I've lost family and friends, associates and acquaintances, many old and some tragically young. The heartbreak of watching both the winners and the losers is overwhelming. Over the last five years I have met or learned about thousands of cancer patients in my direct circle and found them literally everywhere without. SO many in fact that the true shock of cancer is how few of them I saw before.

My heart goes out to all those out there receiving new diagnoses today, those mired in the fight today, those who have won and those who we have tragically lost. But even if we regard every one of the cancer victims that 50% stat represents, it still doesn't even begin to present the full picture. Children, parents, spouses, partners, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, neighbors, friends, and even total strangers are fighting this fight on behalf of all of these patients, and their lives will also be forever transformed by the stress, grief, loss and heartache that come tied to this unwanted visitor. What I have learned is that there will be very few of us in this life who don't face the tragedy that is cancer and every day that passes, sick or well, pre-diagnosis or post, is a day that we don't get back. I've found kindness, grace, love and humor to be among the best gifts you can give to someone fighting cancer and the people who love and stand beside them, and I try to remember every day that in reality, that is all of us.